Saturday, September 13, 2008

My Pity Party...

I took yesterday off. I won't do that again real soon. It took me over 2 hours to catch up on reading and commenting on my blog buds.

Took the day off because I was really down. Both mentally and food wise. Since I weighed in on Wednesday I've been famished. I can't eat enough to keep me full for more than a couple of hours. And it's not cravings that has me that way. My tummy has really been grumbling, LOUDLY. Since I don't have the "ick" any more I'm thinking that the change in hormones is still the culprit. I need to make a note of the dates and see if it happens again next month at the same time. As I'm thinking back it seems to. Today seems better. I didn't have breakfast until just after 10:00 AM and am still stuffed. Maybe it has passed. I sure hope so.

I was mentally down because of the loss of the friend last week. I am really hurting for her and I really hate it that she is so miserable with her life. She has done some really stupid things since her husband died 2 years ago. I tried to talk to her in the beginning about the mistakes and wished her happiness in her choices but she hasn't had much of that. And she blames me for the mistakes. We all have to blame someone and I don't mind her using me as a scape goat. But I really don't want her unhappy. I'm just worried about her well being and mental health. I'm afraid both are in trouble. So, I spent most of yesterday in pain for her.

What an awful post. I'm sorry I brought you along to my pity party. But, being the friends that you are, you know full well that it helps to talk to someone that understands. So I hope you don't mind my ramblings.

Have a great weekend.


Kate said...

we all have times when we're down. I've been there the last few days myself. But you know that things will swing the other way. Just hang in there.

Sparky said...

Hang in there :)

MaryFran said...

Don't ever feel that you need to apologize for writing a 'down' post. This is your blog, and if your down, write about it. Writing for me is very cathartic, so I write what's on my heart also!

I read somewhere just recently that even after the monthly 'ick' is a thing of the past, that a females body will still have some of the hormonal changes that occur each month. SO I'm thinking that this is probably true for you. The big difference, most people are not in tune with their bodies and eating habits, so they don't recognize it! :-)

SOrry to hear about your friend. She AND you are in my thoughts and prayers!

grammy said...

Hope you feel better soon. Sometimes you just need some space and time to help with the friend issue. You need a long walk, a good book, and a rented movie...about the food. eat some low point things to fill you up. Air popped popcorn with spray butter(it is no points). I like to 'fry' zucchini slices in a skillet with Pam. How about weight watcher yougart..just one point. Things like that we can even splurge on and it doesn't do much damage. Thanks for your comments by the way (o:

JC said...

Consider yourself virtually hugged. I give great hugs BTW. No, I did not go buy M&Ms, haven't had that urge in a while. I actually like the dark, dark chocolate. Cause you just aren't going to eat that much of it. THe kisses idea is great.

I just finished, Linda Spangle's book "Life is Hard; Food is Easy" in the very last of the book she talks about grief. It was very good. I always thought about grief in terms of death but not necessarily so. We grieve the lost of friendships, jobs (even to go to a better one), food (knowing we can never just eat all we want). She makes some good points. Did you get that book? She wrote the 100 Days to Weight Loss book that I'm doing the 100 Days Challenge on.

You are sad about losing your firend and you are worried about her and that is good. It means she matters to you. Pray for her but beyond that there is nothing you can do. I understand completely where you are. Don't be sorry for a down post. Let us lift you up because sister you know you will have the opportunity to do some lifting up yourself with me sometime. Sorry, I didn't mean to write a book.

Grace and blessings to you.

->cara said...

Hey, there's something else you can research... what makes you ravenous when you shouldn't even be hungry. I've always wanted to know what causes that. It's like you're hungry for no good reason. Being on a diet makes this situation a thousand times worse than for the average person. But I wonder if it's mental, physical, psychological, or what? I sure would like to know what causes it.