Friday, May 29, 2009
I keep looking at the forecast every morning to see if it will be conducive to mowing that day and it looks like it will be Sunday or Monday now. Then this morning as I was setting on the throne it dawned on me that my mower isn't in working order right now. The bent blade is in the back of my car and I had totally forgotten about it. So, if I'm going to get out there and cut that high grass I'd better head to the hardware store today and get that blade.
"Weight loss is relative." By this I mean...I've lost 70 pounds and when I started on maintenance I felt that I looked pretty durn good. And all my friends and relatives were calling me skinny and such. But now that I've been on maintenance for a few months I feel and look fat again. I can remember looking at my legs a few months ago and thinking, "Wow, they are skinny." Now not so much. So, what to do? Do I go off maintenance for a while and get more of this fat off or do I just accept myself as I am? I started out at 250 and have gotten down to 180. At 5' 4" that is still obese, but a lot healthier than at 250. When I started this weight loss/healthier me program I had 150 in mind for my goal. Then when I stalled at 180 and became obsessed with food and so miserable I decided to stop there. But now I don't know what to do. If I get down to 150 will I look at myself again in a few months and have the same thoughts? Will this turn into an eating disorder? That kinda scares me. What are your thoughts?
Have a great weekend!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Got an email from the company last night that he had cooked a burger for my dogs and left it on the grill. I ran out to the grill and opened the lid and whew, the smell hit me full force. That sucker got frisbeed into the woods.
Gotta head into town today to get some staples and stuff. Don't really want to do it but I must.
And the durn grass is going to drive me crazy with all this rain. I think I can actually see it grow. Looking forward (NOT) to a couple of dry days so I can mow. Now I know how my hubby felt when he looked outside and grumbled about the grass. It's right up there with all the dishes that keep getting dirty and needing washed. Think I'm lazy? Nah, not me!!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I'm having a rough time sticking with this "diet" thing right now. Don't know what is wrong. I'm not eating the wrong stuff but just too much of the right stuff. I gotta get my butt in gear and quit this. And the worst part of it is I'm eating when I'm not hungry. Don't know what has gotten into me. And instead of my usual one cup of soup, I am sometimes eating another cup, thinking that tasted so good I'll just have another. There is one day's menu that will keep me on the straight and narrow but it gets so boring that I can't seem to stick with it for more than a couple of days. And if I go off it, I over eat. I just have to get this 9 pounds back off so I can continue this maintenance correctly.
Been having some trouble with one of my doggies. He has been nipping lately and out right bit me the other day. There was another dog involved when he bit me but he wasn't in the middle of a ruckus with the other dog. He was nipping at him from across the room for no reason and when I reprimanded him he turned and bit me. It didn't bring blood but bruised my hand. I'm going to keep an eye on him and try to find something that he has done wrong and try the reprimanding again and if he turns on me again, I'll have to have him put down. It's just too dangerous to have a biting dog around. The worst part is he has always been the gentle one all his life and his sister has been the high strung one and now she is the gentle one. They are 10 years old now and that isn't really old for a small dog but maybe he is getting senile or maybe it's because he only has one eye and the sight in that eye isn't very good. I just don't know.
Have a great Hump Day!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Waiting for the rain to start today and last all week.
Enjoy the last two days of your long weekend.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
I waited for him to leave and stripped down on the porch all the way to my undies (Bet you can't do that) so I wouldn't track grass all over the house. Boy that shower felt good.
Grabbed my Kindle and hit the swing on the front porch. So the day ended nicely.
All I had to eat yesterday was a chicken sandwich, a couple of ounces of cheese, some pretzels and a huge salad. Then before bedtime, some rice pudding and a granola bar.
Company called last night and are heading my way this morning, so I've got a lot to accomplish before they arrive. I thought they weren't coming until tomorrow but they surprised me.
Have fun this weekend y'all.
Friday, May 22, 2009
It's making me realize how long it takes to form new habits. I will sometimes be online and wonder if someone tried to call while I was online. Well, DUH, I would have heard the phone ring. But I catch myself picking up the phone to check my voice mail. And there's the times that I'm setting here and get hungry and jump up to get myself a sandwich and think to myself, "I'd better disconnect first in case someone wants to call." Then it hits me that I don't have to do that anymore. It's been almost a month now and these thoughts are getting fewer but they still happen.
Hey, I didn't share with y'all what I got for Mother's Day.
I'm a lovin' my new Kindle. It is a little weird getting used to not turning pages to read but I think this habit will form eventually too. Well, gotta fess up, I bought it for myself for Mother's
Day. But the girls were both thrilled that I'd gotten it so I just think of it as being from them. I don't want either of them spending their hard earned money on me. And what on earth could they get me anyway. They know that if I want anything I'll get it for myself.
I just finished cleaning all my windows and am having a bite of lunch before I go out and cut the grass. (Of course I'll let it settle a while first, don't want to get sick.) Got company coming Sunday and will have a lot to do Saturday to get ready for them so I couldn't put it off any longer. I hate cleaning windows!
Have a great holiday weekend!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Just had to share another "critter" with you. At least this one isn't inside the house. But I was really happy to see it. I have a family of ravens living near the cabin. You can't tell by this picture but they are huge. They are bigger than either of my cats and almost as big as my dogs.
I do enjoy watching them, though. I can sometimes see them flying off my porch and more than once there was something in their mouths. So I'm pretty careful not to leave anything laying around out there that I want to keep. I did catch sight of a clothes pin once.
Hope you have a great Friday.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The past couple of nights I was hearing something downstairs after I went to bed. Sounded like one of the cats roaming around, but...the cats are outside. I kept coming down here to check it out and found nothing. Just before bedtime last night I heard it again near the back door. I have a huge box there that I collect junk mail and old bills and stuff to burn. It was coming from the box. I picked it up and shook it a while and no sound or site of anything. Then I picked up a another small box that was in there partially crushed and EEEK, a mouse! The whole big box is now on the front porch on it's side hoping the mouse has escaped. But it will stay out there for at least another day to make sure. I'm not really afraid of mice (I think their cute), but I don't want any in my house.
My eating has been good but I'm back up to where I was when I started trying to lose this 9 pounds. Drats!! I'll keep at it though. Have to get out there and mow the lawn in the next day or so and that will help burn some calories.
My Internet was down from yesterday until just now and I was really having withdrawals. Guess I could have cleaned the house instead of pining away for Internet, but...that's too much like work.
Have a great day!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
I was lyin' in bed, night before last, just sleepin' away and all of a sudden felt myself being pelted with little thingys. I jumped up and turned on the light and found bat droppings all over the top of my bed. These were dried up ones and they look a lot like mouse droppings except they're a little bigger. (Now comes the EEEWWWWWW's) So I surmised that a bat had just entered the cabin and dislodged some of the droppings he'd left while hiding out up there in the daylight. I ran downstairs and grabbed my rainbow sweeper with all the long attachments, I paid extra for, and proceeded to climb on the bed and sweep up as many droppings as I could from the crack in the apex, and of course from my bed.
So now my bed is in the middle of the floor and I'm thinkin' about changing things around up there and making it catty cornered, but don't know if it will work or not. I really can't sleep under that apex anymore until I can find someone that can climb up there and seal things off. I've tried to get someone to do that but can't find anyone that is willing to climb that high on a ladder and do it for me. And believe you me, I'm not getting on a ladder that high up. It's about 35 feet off the ground on the outside and I'm too old for that sh&%.
Was going to mow the grass again today but it's still too wet. Looks like I'll have a good opportunity to do it any day this week as there's no rain predicted.
Have a great Sunday!!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
And when I do get back down there I'm going to remember something I saw on Biggest Loser a couple of weeks ago when they sent everyone home for a month. When Jillian showed up at her teams homes she stressed allowing ourselves some comfort once in a while and just remember that we all have to allow it and learn to deal with it through our calorie counting and exercise. I'm going to have to find a way to allow myself the little extras without going overboard.
Have a great weekend!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Then...I'm lying in bed reading last night trying to get sleepy and see something out of the corner of my eye. I look that way and there's nothing there. So I go back to reading. Then it happens again. I put the book down and look really good this time and find nothing. I got up and walked all over the bedroom and look over the balcony to the living room and find nothing again. So, it's back to bed and the book. When it happened again I was quicker and discovered a bat flying around. Oh, joy! I watched it for a while and since there was nothing I could do I just read some more and then went to sleep. I've come to find out that they won't bother me since they are just flying around up toward the top of my ceiling. And...there's no way I could ever reach them to take a broom or anything to them to bat them down. I'm just a brave mountain woman, I guess.
Eating was really good yesterday. Hopefully today will be the same.
Have a great Friday and weekend!!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Eating was much better yesterday, mainly because I was afraid to eat too much. I didn't want to spend too much time in the bathroom. But that part of it passed after a few hours and the "feel bads" took over. I spent most of the day lying around. So far today I feel fine. Must have been something I ate on Tuesday.
The fun of the new Mini computer has worn off. Actually it is more like a disillusionment. That thing may be 3 years newer than my main computer but it is 3 times slower than the main one too. You would think that being that much newer it would be faster or at least as fast. Setting down with it and surfing the net is almost like having dial up again. It's not quite that slow but almost. My first thoughts when I got it were that I'd use it for the web and that way I wouldn't get viruses on my main one but I can't stand the slowness of it. I did a defrag on it last night and haven't tried it this morning to see if that helped or not.
Not much planned for today except waiting for the Orkin man. At least he told me he'd be here between 2:30 and 4:30. That's when he usually comes. Was going to take the walk around my driveway and take pics for you guys but the weather isn't going to be conducive for that until Monday at the earliest.
Have a great day!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Does any one know what the names of these flowers/plants are? The purple one, I found in the woods around here several years ago and transplanted it by my porch. I've never been able to find out what it is but it is definitely a wild flower. The other two are ground cover that has been given to me and I wasn't told the names of them. The bushy one with the yellow flowers on top is really soft. Even the leaves are as soft as a feather. It sends off underground shoots and pops up just anywhere it wants too, as you can see in the last picture of the little lone plant.
My eating wasn't any better yesterday than it was the day before. Still famished all day. I didn't "splurge" on anything, meaning that I ate all healthy foods but there was still too much of them. My official weigh-in day has changed since I started on this on Saturday. So we shall see what this Saturday brings. But I have been hopping on the scales every day and have watched it go down and up for the past 5 days. Today it's back to where it was when I started again on Saturday.
Did you watch Biggest Loser last night? It was great. I was so pleased with both winners. Since this was the first season I've ever watched I didn't know what to expect or how things worked. Needless to say I was glued for 3 hours. Thank goodness for my DVR so I could go potty and, unfortunately, hope up and make myself a salad.
I almost missed the beginning. I was so tired around 7:00 that I was lying on the couch and dozed off for just a little while. Then what do you know but I couldn't get to sleep when I went to bed. Kept turning the light back on and reading some more until around 2:00. And with a busy day ahead of me. Have to take the dogs to the groomers and go back a pick them up before Orkin gets here. My carpenter bees are back.
Have a great hump day!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
I did get in some exercise on Sunday. Got outside and mowed the lawn with my self propelled push mower. You do remember that I live on a mountain, right? That's why I have the self propelled kind. It's "fairly" flat where I have to mow but there are some places that I couldn't push the heavy thing around without the automatically turning front wheels. It took me 48 minutes to get just the mowing done. When I paid a young whipper snapper to do it he had the yard mowed and the weed eating done in 30 minutes. Me, I didn't get the weed eating done around the flower beds or fire pit. I couldn't get the durn thing started. I just don't have the strength it takes to pull that cord to start it. So the weeds will just have to wait until my daughter and her fiance come to visit or I may get out a pair of scissors and set on my bum and scoot around them and clip away. At least I did remember to put on my heart monitor and found out that I'd burned 850 calories in that 48 minutes.
It's supposed to be pretty again today so I'm going to walk around my place and see if I can take some halfway descent pics of the new spring growth. You'll find out tomorrow it the pics were good enough to post.
Have a great week!!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
And for you non-Mothers, you need to have a Happy Day too!!
Thanks VRaz60 for the award. Now I feel really special.
And I'm passing it on to 5 more super bloggers:
Cammy of The Tippy Toe Diet: You've helped me so much along the way. You have been my true inspiration. Thanks.
Maryfran of A New Start Losing Weight: You have given me insight into eating healthy while still cooking the things I love. Thanks.
Grammy of The Kintz Family News: You are always a delight to read. I enjoy your little stories and the wonderful pictures you post. Thanks.
JC of This and That With JC: You are a wonderful person to get to know. Your faith has boosted me more than you will know. Thanks.
Donna of Losing the Fluff: You have shown me that even if we stumble we can pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and get right back on the wagon with fervor. Thanks.
I hate this...only 5? There are so many more that I want to mention...I gotta make it 6.
Cara of Cara's Weight Loss Journal: I wouldn't be your healthier Mom if it weren't for your inspiration. And you are the one that introduced me to blogland and all my blog-buds. Thanks.
Ok, I still don't like to be limited so consider every one else that I visit regularly on this list too...You have all helped me so much.
Just right click on the award, save it and post it on your blog somewhere and pass it along to other deserving bloggers.
Have a great Sunday!!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
I've been thinking a lot about my weight and my childhood lately. I've heard and read so much about eating disorders being caused by an unhappy childhood. My weight problems didn't come from an unhappy childhood. Oh, don't get me wrong, my childhood was not a happy, happy one either. The first 7 years were wonderful and then along came my brother. He was the apple of my Mother's eye and he could do no wrong. I have been so jealous of him all his life. He joined Mother in February of this year and I'm here without either.
I didn't realize until Mom was on her death bed that she loved me too. She was in a drug induced coma for comfort during her last few days. The nurses had a hard time cleaning her unless I was there. She would fight them even in a coma. When I was there I'd get real close to her face and talk to her really sweet and ask her to just concentrate on my voice and the cleaning would be over soon. She'd stop struggling and do just as I said. They tried that with my brother and the struggling would just continue, so they got to where they'd wait until it was my shift with Mom to do anything that she didn't like.
So for those of you out there that faced similar emotions growing up, just remember that a Mother's love is a wonderful thing. Even though you may think she doesn't love you as much as a sibling, she does. Maybe she just doesn't show it when you want her too. And for those Mom's out there raising children now, remember to make sure you divide your affection equally so they won't feel this way.
My weight problem came from LOVING food and a "fat gene" inherited from my Dad's side of the fence, not an unhappy childhood. I can't remember even one time that while unhappy I turned to food for comfort. Don't know if it was because of being raised in the times that I was or what. Maybe it was because I didn't stay in the house much as a kid. Anything interesting to do was done outside, even in the winter. I was born in the times before television and even after it came along there was only one channel and it was boooorrrrrriiiiinnnnngggg to a kid (except on Saturday mornings...cartoons, yay).
Mom was a great cook. We always used to laugh that all she had to do was stick her finger in the food she prepared and it would come out wonderful. That's what she passed on to me. A LOVE for food and her cooking skills. I even LOVE all those green stinky veggies that a lot of people turn up their noses at. But most of all I LOVE butter. Real butter not the fake stuff. Mother always cooked with lots of it and it began to show on my body in my early 20's. Guess I was too active before then for it to show.
Mom would be so proud of me and my weight loss. She never put me down because of my weight but would in subtle ways let me know that she wished I was a healthier weight. She worried about my health so much. Wish she were here to see me now and know that I am healthy for the first time in 40+ years. She'd be amazed to find out that at this ripe old age I take no meds for my health. But...maybe she does know and she is probably smiling down on me now with that proud smile you only see on a MOTHER.
I LOVE YOU MOMMA!!
Friday, May 8, 2009
1. I think I'm back!! Decided this morning while waiting for the coffee to brew that I have really been missing blogging and reading blogs. I think I'm all caught up on my blog-buds. I visited most and commented on most of those. I didn't scroll down too far and get all caught up on what has been going on in your lives but I did read the past 2 or 3 that I've missed. Reading all of your past posts that I've missed was just too daunting and I was afraid I'd quit before I visited everyone. I got some inspiration back that I really needed. I read so many that I don't remember who said what but they all helped me in some way to get back the control that I need.
2. When Linda and her little family came to visit weekend before last I had bought some cookies for the 4 year old. I brought them home and placed 3 each into little snack size zipper bags for her. Just wanted to do a little something extra for her to remember visiting grandmother's house. It did tickle her and she was a doll in offering to share with every one else too. At least she only wanted to share one cookie with me. I'd have loved to eat the whole big bag but I kept telling myself they were for her not me. When they left to go home I packed all the little left over snack bags up in a larger bag for her to take with her and was relieved when they were out of the house. Then came the bad surprise. A few days later while vacuuming I found one of the little snack packs under my ottoman. Oh, DARN!! I purposely hadn't bought my favorite cookies, but cookies are cookies and I had to have one. I closed the bag up and threw it on my kitchen counter and continued to vacuum. I found the bag on my counter last night and they started haunting me again. So in the trash they went and I don't mean just throwing the bag in the trash but emptying the cookies into the stinky stuff so I wouldn't fish out the bag and decide they weren't ruined. One demon gone!!
3. Exercise is hard for me. I hate to do it to begin with (and I realize I'm not the only one) and I hate it even more by myself. I haven't done anything all winter. The Wii even fizzled out after about a month. I guess I'm one of those people that sees something that I don't have and want it and am sure that I will use it all the time and realization sets in and I've found that I've wasted my money. So while this rain continues and I can't get out into the woods and walk I've got to make myself get on the Wii. How about once a week to begin with and then work it up from there? And I've been thinking that I may go out in between the rain drops and hit the driveway. Go down the steep part and up the curvy part. Think I'll take pics on the trip and show all of you. Think that will help until I can get out there where I want to and enjoy the woods?
4. I've got to get the eating under control. When I started on maintenance I quit journaling my calories. I figured I knew what to eat and how to eat. I just added a little more splurges than I did while struggling to lose this 70 pounds. Now I know that this is the wrong thing for me. I've got to get control back and the only way I can do this is to count calories again. I've got to do a little research to see what the right calorie intake is for me to maintain or even lose a little more. But I'm ready to do that now. So, Spark People, I'm coming back.
There's more I want to talk about and I've made myself some notes on them. I'll just save them for another post so that I don't exhaust you any further.
Enjoy today and look forward to tomorrow. And to coin a phrase on one of Jimmy Buffett's songs, "Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move on."
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Still haven't received pics from my daughter of our trip down there. She's been having Internet problems off and on and it seems when it is on she is too busy to set down and send them. She will eventually and I'll share them when she does.
One nice thing with all this rain is that the leaves are on the trees now. There wasn't a leaf to be seen weekend before last and now they all have them. So things are starting to get green again on the mountain. I know it has been all the rain we've had but the bad thing is that my yard needs mowing really bad. Can't do it in the rain so it will just have to wait.
I just finished reading Deception Point by Dan Brown and it as a good one too. I've either read it before or it was turned into a movie and I saw the movie. But which ever it was, even though I remembered the basic plot I didn't remember most of the things that happened or who the "bad guy" was.
My durn dogs!! They started growling and boofing early this morning and wouldn't let me sleep. I wasn't ready to get up yet but they relented so I couldn't sleep. I just let them back in and the little boy went back upstairs and back to bed. I think when I'm finished here I'll go upstairs and bounce on the bed so he can't sleep. Pay backs are hell.
Eating has been ok. Not good or bad. I haven't gotten off the pounds I put on yet but at least there's no more creeping on.
You'd of laughed at me last week when the guy came to install my DSL. Lazy ole me wasn't lazy that day. He was supposed to be here between 8:00 and 10:00. By 10:00 I had two loads of laundry done, the dishes washed and put away, the sweeper run and showered. Actually the shower came first just in case he came at 8:00 but he didn't make it until 10:00.
Have a great weekend out there in blog-land.
Friday, May 1, 2009
My weight is up a little more than I feel comfortable with so I'm going to start today to do something about it. Think if the weather clears some I may go to the falls by myself and do some walking. And take some pictures of my own since my daughter has never sent me copies of the ones she took last weekend. She's been really busy and I understand but I am by nature an impatient person.
There have been some personal things going on in my life that have had my mind pre-occupied. That is why I have not been too regular on here and why I haven't left many comments on your blogs. With the mind on other things it's hard to come up with encouragement for someone else. Hope you will forgive me.
Hope you have a great weekend!