Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Acceptance

Not much to report today. I had a successful day yesterday with food and exercise. It wasn't raining when I walked (bummer, I was so looking forward to a new experience) but it was cold and I had to wear a jacket. Was even cold in the jacket at first until the calories started to burn away. Looking forward to warmer weather that sticks around for a while, instead of just teasing us like it has in the past couple of weeks.

A friend is supposed to stop by today on his way to visit one of his daughters and I hope he gets here early enough for us to hop in the car and drive somewhere that I can walk that's different and prettier. It's not my scheduled day to walk but I really want to walk somewhere else and I am a little leery about doing that alone. The only places around here to walk are secluded and usually on woodsy trails and I just don't feel safe doing those alone. What if I fell and hurt something and couldn't get out of the woods and back to the car? Or what if I crossed a bear's path and couldn't run fast enough? Or what if I encountered a psycho two legged creature and no one else was around? Those make me shudder. So on a regular basis I'll just stick to my driveway until I can make it up the steep part and then I can walk on another part of my mountain where I feel safe.

I was thinking the other day about my solitary life. When my husband died I thought I'd never be able to live alone and the thoughts of another man (one from my area at least) was gross. Somewhere over the past couple of months I have accepted my life and it ain't so bad. Don't know when that happened but I'm glad it did. I have grown to love my aloneness. The thought of sharing "my space" with another human being is just not what I want. Oh, I feel lonely from time to time but not to the extent that the tears start streaming any more and that feeling only lasts for minutes instead of days like it used too. And I'm a lovin' my new fitter life style! And it's gonna get better still!

1 comment:

Cammy said...

I enjoy most of my alone time, too.

A lot of people swear by these Leslie Sansone "Walk Away the Pounds" DVDs. I haven't tried them, but I've read good reviews. That might be a nice change that doesn't involve having to drive somewhere else. I think you're very wise to consider the safety/security issues first!