Monday, June 30, 2008

Too Many Questions and Not Enough Answers...

Thanks for the advice yesterday. It has gotten me to thinking. I do need a vacation from all this concentration but a full blown vacation from it may not be the way to go. Got to thinking about it in more depth and I may blow the whole thing if I get totally off it for any period of time. One of my main problems in this whole thing is that living alone and being retired gives me a tremendous amount of time to think. And the past year my thinking has been about only one thing. "What will I eat next?" or "What can I still have and stay on track?" I was already splurging on my weigh-in day, not the full day but at least one meal. Then I'd feel guilty the next morning for fear that I'd blown the whole thing away. I hate that, which tells me that this whole healthier lifestyle thing is not a lifestyle yet. Will it ever be? I still dream of mashed potatoes and gravy or fettuccine Alfredo with extra sauce or deep fried this and that. Will that ever go away? Probably not. So I guess mentally I'll always be a fat person.

There you go Cammy, trying to get me to exercising again, sly you. And it may just be a good idea for me too. After walking 2 miles yesterday and the way my legs felt and my breathing so hard I know I have GOT to get back to it. It is so easy when there are people here to walk with me and I know I will do it while I have company. I've just got to MAKE myself do it when they leave.

So far since I decided to try a vacation I've still been tracking my calories and food intake. I don't want to get out of that habit or it will definitely get me off this thing all together. I am just at a loss as to what to really do. I'm so tired of all the concentration and not getting results on the scales. I know the wonderful feeling of fitting into a smaller size but want to have the wonderful feeling of seeing the scales drop a little each week too. I know I could concentrate more and make my food intake smaller or less caloric but I just don't think going below 1200 calories would be healthy for me. I have gone below some days but at the end of the week the average is about 1350. Do I just need to make it 1200 all the time? I don't know. According to all the research I've done I should be steadily losing if I stay under 1500 but that doesn't seem to be happening. Is it because my body has been on this thing for so long that it just doesn't want to give up anymore fat? This wasn't so hard when I was younger. I would average 1.5 to 2 pounds drop every week. This sure hasn't been the case this time.

Have a happy week bloggers while I ponder my questions.


MaryFran said...

I'm glad to hear that you were back out there walking. I honestly feel that for me to really lose weight, that I need to be exercising (being active in some way) also. Get yourself walking and worry less about the food!

As for always thinking about food in the same way. I've come to the conclusion that I will always have a food addiction and a problem. It's just something that I'm going to have to learn how to live with.

Sparky said...

Someone may have mentioned this I'm sure but eating too few calories can in fact make you plateau. Just a thought. Hope you are having a great day. I am so with you though. I have been 'working at it' for over a year and it is tiresome. I have taken a few vacations and come back to it but it is so hard to get to it with the same enthusiasm as the first initial time.

-->cara said...

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time with this. I've sure had my fair share of rough spots. This weight loss thing is so daggone hard!!!

I miss eating real food so bad! I keep denying myself week after week hoping it'll get easier at some point. But it doesn't seem to be getting any easier. And every chance I get, I sabotage myself. It's like I say to myself, I'm so tired of not eating what I want to and then I'll eat what I want for a day and then regret the heck out of it. I shot up 2 pounds just from eating a greasy breakfast Saturday morning. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'LL TAKE ME TO LOSE THAT 2 POUNDS.

I'm just so tired of doing this.

I really don't think a 2-week vacation is the way to go, though. If I can gain 2 pounds in one day, can you imagine how many pounds you'd gain in 2 weeks???!!!

Do you log your food online in a place where I could log in and look at what you're eating? I might be able to see something that's causing your plateau.

If not, can you maybe mail me some of the things you eat. You could even do a screen shot of a few days of your food logs and email them to me. (If you don't know how to do that, I can walk you through it.)

Sometimes it's not the calories or fat but the types and quantities of food.

You want to try walking with me in the morning? You said you've been going to bed early and getting up early. Maybe this would be the perfect time to try walking early with me. Walking with a buddy and someone to be accountable to is just about the only way I'll keep doing it on a regular basis (I didn't run/walk this morning).

Cammy said...

I'm too "in-your-face" to be sly about it. :) I just remember how excited you were when you first startd walking, and I could almost hear the pride jumping off the page. My one wish for you is that you find THAT something again, whether it's exercise or healthy eating or any other something that makes you feel like the great person you are already. Because you are, you know. Great, I mean.

You have made it halfway to your goal, and I don't doubt you'll make the rest of it. The thing is, as far as I know, there's nothing that says you have to do it NOW.

Whatever you decide to do, I'm behind you. Unless we're going UP the mountain, and then I need to be in front because I might need a push. :)