Hangin' In There...

I'm still here. Just haven't been in the mood to blog lately. Can't think of much to write about. Guess the ole creative juices aren't flowing. Still kinda low.

I'm still on this friggin' weight loss journey. Never fear, I haven't given up. I haven't weighed myself since Wednesday and there was a half pound loss. But it's still discouraging. I decided to just cover the scales up for a month or so. I even went 5 days without meat this week. Didn't really mean to but kept eating beans and taco soup (from the freezer) and peanut butter. Just didn't feel like cooking. Found some chili in the freezer and had it last night and that was the first time for meat. My colon told me about it this morning.

Hope you are all doing alright. I'll get caught up on what's happening in your lives as soon as possible.

Apologies...

Wow, I didn't mean to get so maudlin yesterday. Guess I was just depressed and needed a pity party. Sorry 'bout that. Still a little blue today but it is better. I spent the day in bed napping off and on yesterday. My defense mechanism for depression and it usually helps as it did yesterday. I have no idea what makes me get into those moods, there are so many other people out there that have such enormous problems in their lives that mine are minor in comparison.

Sorry that I didn't get to too many of you yesterday but I will catch up later today. I just wasn't much in the mood to read or comment.

I'm showing a half pound loss so far today but tomorrow will tell the real story.

About what I said yesterday about wanting a mate. NOT!! Just part of the pity party. I like living alone. Now don't get me wrong, I would love a companion of sorts but not on a daily basis. The perfect relationship would be a part time one. Like maybe on the weekends ONLY. I've settled into a routine and like being able to sleep and eat and clean whenever I want to and not have to please someone else. I like just pleasing me for a change, since I've always pleased others all my life.

Have a great Tuesday.

Struggling with Emotions...

The confusing cycles we go through during weight loss are very hard to deal with at times.

When we start this journey we are all excited about finally becoming THIN. We are gung-ho in the beginning if we are truly dedicated this time around. When we see the pounds dropping off the excitement continues and it keeps us on the straight and narrow of our path. We start seeing a difference in our bodies and hear from others that they are seeing it too. What a wonderful feeling to know and see the changes we are working so hard to make.

Then somewhere along the way we discover that it isn't all about being THIN but about being healthier. We realize that we are feeling better not just about our looks but inside too. We can walk farther without huffing and puffing. The joints in our legs don't hurt as much any more and what a wonderful feeling that can be. We discover exercise and some of us get a real natural high form it.

We try experimenting by adding more exercise or different exercises to find the right mix for us. And we try incorporating our favorite foods into our daily or weekly food intake to satisfy our cravings. We finally find the right mix and are euphoric that we have found the correct path for our lifetime journey. Along the way we have discovered that this is indeed a lifetime journey because we know in our hearts and heads that if we don't stick to this new life style we will be back up there where we began if not larger. And we really don't want to go there again. Ever!!

Then a plateau happens. Yea, just happens. The first week we just accept it as part of the process. Then when the weeks continue it becomes harder and harder to accept. Discouragement sets in. We want to quit and just enjoy our food again without measuring and weighing and eating so many salads we feel like we are going to turn into a head of lettuce. At this point some of us to give up. At this point some of us take a side track. And at this point some of us just understand and have the resolve to continue no matter what happens.

Well, I'm among the side tracked group right now. The closer I get to goal (66 pounds gone and 33 to go) the slower it comes off and the harder it is to stick with it. Yes, I know, I am only two thirds there and not really that close to goal but at this point I am so discouraged that I really have entertained thoughts of just giving up. I won't though. After all, I gave away all my "fat" clothes and don't want to buy any new "fat" clothes, ever!! So here I set wondering what I'm going to do. I am so sick of cooking healthy, I am so sick of cooking just for me, I am so sick of the whole shebang.

Those of you that have followed me for a while know that I don't exercise. I tried it and it just doesn't work for me. It felt wonderful when I started and I was really excited about getting healthier in that aspect too. But when I started exercising is when my plateaus started and even gains. Sure the clothes were getting a little smaller but we all know what the numbers on the scale do to our minds.

I am in this alone, physically that is. I know I have all of you, constant readers, but you can't be with me to exercise with. I am just not the type of person that likes doing things or going places alone. After all, these past 2 1/2 years are the only years in my 62 1/2 years that I've ever been alone. And it isn't just about likes, it's about being terribly uncomfortable doing things alone. I have anxiety attacks when I try going somewhere or doing something alone. I've purchased about 6 exercise DVD's and can't even make myself do any of them in the privacy of my home by myself. I've got dance DVD's, exercise DVD's, yoga DVD's...I even got 2 of Richard Simmons "Sweatin' to the Oldies" DVD's and the plastic wrapper is still on them. I know I have to get over this and just start doing something but I can't seem to make myself, despite all your encouragement.

So, right now I am side tracked mentally. I have quit journaling my food intake. I am keeping track of it in my head and so far I haven't done too badly but I'm just sick and tired of obsessing over this. I want that magic wand that will make all of this go away and POOF I'll be thin and healthy. Ever feel that way? Only every minute of every day, huh?

I really wish that there was someone in my life, in my home with me to help me through this and encourage me hourly to continue. For some reason the dogs like me no matter how I look or how healthy I am and don't care either way...stupid dogs. Don't they realize that being healthier I'll be here longer for them, to take care of them, to love them? Sure wish they could talk. I live in an area where there isn't a place where I could meet someone new for my life. I do love where I live and have lived in the country setting so long that I wouldn't be able to live in a city any more so moving isn't an option. Not only because of my comfort but financially either.

I know I'm not alone with most of these feelings. I know you have been there too. But I just had to get it off my chest. Maybe that will help.

Hope your week is better than mine seems to be starting out to be.

Cluck, Cluck, Cluck...

Not another chicken recipe!!!I just had a really good dinner and I thought I'd share it with you. I got this off the Bisquick box.

ULTIMATE CHICKEN FINGERS

3 Chicken breast (skinless/boneless)
2/3 Cup Bisquick
1/2 Cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 tsp garlic salt
1/2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp pepper
1 egg slightly beaten
3 TBSP butter or margarine, melted

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Line a cookie sheet with foil and spray with Pam or use non-stick foil.

Cut chicken into strips long wise.

Combine dry ingredients in a gallon zip lock baggy.

Dip chicken into eggs.

Place chicken in zip lock and shake to coat.

Place on cookie sheet and drizzle with butter. Bake for 20 minutes turning half way through.

Now, I did it a little differently and it was still really good. I didn't use the egg, just the dry ingredients and I didn't drizzle the butter on it. The original recipe calls for cooking for 12-14 minutes but I found that it didn't get browned properly in that length of time. And I only used one chicken breast since there is only one of me. :o) I had some hot mustard and mixed honey in with it and made a yummy dip. The WW points and calories are below for the way I did it.

Weight Watchers Points = 6 (6 oz chicken breast)
Calories = 262 (6 oz chicken breast)

Well, Cammy, this wasn't a memory about salad but at least it is a healthy post.

Memory Lane...

Thanks for all the advice on fake butter. But come on now. Although fake butter is alright it's still not the real thing. And unfortunately I was raised on the real thing. I think our alias was the Buttertons. There was NEVER a stick (remember I was raised in the olden days) of the fake stuff in the fridge. When Mom would make a recipe that called for margarine she used BUTTER. When it called for crisco (later on) she used BUTTER flavored crisco. I use the fake stuff now but it just doesn't compare to the real stuff. I have found that Land O Lakes Light Butter has the flavor that is almost like it but it is still a little off. And I've learned to like my corn on the cob with the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray. But I really miss the real stuff.


Talking about the "olden days" I'm going to take a little of Charlie's advice when I have writer's block. But instead of talking about Pizza I'm gonna reminisce a little. So if you don't want to walk down memory lane with me to can skip the next part.


My grandmother practically raised me since Mom was divorced (a couple of times) and she was the sole bread winner. I stayed with Butsy during the week and with Mom on the weekends. I'm told that my grandmother wanted to be called Mutsy but as a little tyke I couldn't pronounce my M's very well and she became Butsy. One of my fondest memories was picnics in her front yard. When I was having a bad day (as she later told me) she'd decide to have a picnic to cheer me up. She'd take one of her "picnic" blankets out in the front yard and spread it out. I'd help her carry plates (they didn't have the paper kind back then) and cups outside and wait while she prepared our wonderful picnic. The one I remember the most vividly was grilled cheese sandwiches and (homemade) vegetable soup. As we would set on the blanket nibbling away we'd talk about the (imaginary) forest around us and the (imaginary) critters we could see. We'd see grand oaks and sycamores with little mitten leaves. We'd see squirrels and foxes frolicking around the trees and beautiful red, orange and yellow flowers. When all that was done, I'd be ready for my nap and she could breath a sigh of relief (I'm sure).

Hope you enjoyed a little snippet of my past.

Disappointment...

I really didn't enjoy the roast. And I'm sure it is because I didn't throw any potatoes on it. And since I didn't have potatoes on it, I didn't have a half a stick of real butter on them. That must be what makes the pot roast so good to me. So I guess it's not the roast I missed but the potatoes and butter (and I miss noodles and butter) but I'm surely not going to go down that road. I know for sure that that would be a terrible mistake on my part. But I did have enough left over roast, onions and carrots to freeze a couple of meals. My next feat (next week) will be to try to make healthy fried chicken (breasts). I used to make Bisquick oven fried chicken once in a while and it was almost as tasty as the chicken I fried in a lot of grease. I will give that a try next.

Nothing else going on in my world. I've been setting here with my fingers poised over the keyboard for the past 5 minutes racking my brain and can't think of a thing to write about, so I guess this will be a short one.

Ho Hummmm...

I lost 1.5 pounds of the 2 that I gained a couple of weeks ago (again). One half pound to go to be where I was a month ago. Oh, well.

Yay, no more political advertisements!!!!!!!

Got the roast out to thaw this morning so I will me having it for dinner. And then will have some of my very own frozen dinners ready to eat.

I've gone back to my bedroom to sleep. Started a couple of nights ago and I think I have a way to keep myself from devouring books. I am leaving them up there by the bed and only letting myself read right before going to sleep. It was beginning to get expensive. I was going through a book in about 2 days. At least I go to Amazon and order enough to get free shipping and usually watch for their 4 for the price of 3 special. I've tried the library in my area and it is so small that I've read what they have in the genre that I prefer.

Later dudes...

Good Advice...

Thanks so much for the wonderful advice on my last post. I never thought of it the way most of you put it. I've been allowing myself red meat about once a month. Really didn't think I should have it more than that but, since I miss it so much maybe I should. It just might make this easier. And it just so happens that I have a couple of roasts in the freezer. Since they are way much more than I should eat, I'll just cook them and freeze the right portions so that I can enjoy them once a week. I'm a happy camper right now just thinking about it.

Y'all are AWESOME!! I knew I was doing this blogging for something other than just rambling. Now if I could just light someone else's world like you have all lit mine.

Hey, are you looking forward to the prime time coverage of the election like me? (Sarcastically said.) I can't believe all the prime time programming is preempted for that bull s%&t. What ever happened to the scrolls at the bottom of the screen that were a nuisance but a whole lot easier to take than having to listen and look at live coverage for hours? UGH!! Thank goodness I have some movies in reserve.

I started my Christmas shopping this weekend. I just love the Internet!! No crowds to fight!!

Hope your week is a good one.

Earthquake???

Did your windows rattle last night when I fell off the wagon? Don't know what got into me but I wasn't hungry or anything like that, I just HAD TO HAVE stuff above and beyond my plan. It started with Doritos then moved to 100 pack calorie cupcakes (2) (I'm never buying those again) and ended with pop corn. Now that wasn't so bad except for the Doritos but an extra 500 calories at bed time is awful. And the worse part is that I really don't feel so bad about it. I was watching television and crocheting away when it happened. Was keeping my little fingers busy so I wouldn't want to snack and all heck broke loose. I wasn't even thinking about snacking and then WHAM it hit me in the head.

I'm so sick of broiled chicken breasts, and baked chicken breasts and I want a STEAK or a GOOD OLD FASHIONED POT ROAST or FRIED CHICKEN AND GRAVY! Okay, so I had fried chicken and gravy for my birthday but I want it AGAIN!!

And to beat it all I weighed myself this morning AFTER breakfast and I was down to 182. That means that I've lost the 2 pounds that I put on AGAIN last week plus another half. I'm sure it won't be that way by Wednesday. I KNOW it won't be that way by Wednesday!

Okay, enough yelling.

How's your first day of standard time going? Don't know what mine will bring but it surely won't be good.

I Did It..

I didn't snack even once last night! And would have made it the night before if someone (who shall remain nameless, Cammy) hadn't mentioned in one of my comments that she was enjoying pop corn every evening as a snack. Since I didn't blog until late Thursday it planted a seed and I couldn't get it out until I scratched that itch. But one bag of light, 100 calorie pop corn isn't that bad as a snack. I had even decided yesterday that if I got hungry last night that I could have some pop corn again. And when I went to bed, still not hungry after dinner, I realized that I hadn't had the it and didn't want it. Soooo, here's how I did it. I ate a light breakfast, a large lunch, and a light supper. Having the large lunch kept me full longer and I was able to eat supper later. That kept me full until bedtime, 4 hours later. Yesterday was a little easier, I'll have to admit because I had a bunch of carbs with my lunch. But, all in all, I stayed within my allotment of calories for the day. Now if I can just keep that pesky ole mind at bay about snacking in the evenings, I'll do a lot better. I think the carbs helped yesterday.

Nothing else to report. You all wanted to know how my experiment worked out and there it is in black blue and white.

Have a great weekend.